Delight in Uncertain Times

Finding beauty in the small things can sometimes feel like creating a painting of the world, in the moment, in the midst of chaos. And I’m no painter. But here goes –

30 Days of Beauty and Delight in the Now

1. Watching the sun pour through the kitchen window, washing over plants, countertops, floors. Creating shadows in the living-room and inviting all, who are interested, to play or just be. 
2. Listening to bird calls, sing, play, fight, teach their young, mate, live without worry. 
3. Zora. I just adore this name.  
4. Silent mediation. Feeling the tingles in my feet, softening my shoulders so they aren’t scrunched up to my ears. Feeling each breathe as it breezes past my nose hairs on the inhale, grounding into the hum of the exhale. Feeling my eyeballs come to rest under closed lids and my mouth no longer perched but relax. Hips spread wide, rooted solid. Feet planted on the floor. I can almost see the roots. Thoughts come and go, I practice surrender over and over again. Until all that’s left is a wondrous space filled with activity, movement, noise, connections, oneness that is my body in alignment with this moment.
5. Learning tech tricks from my team mate. She taught me how to bold a line within a cell in Excel; BLEW MY MIND. 
6. Dating. Soon.
7. Unexpected blooms. 2 years ago I bought an orchid from Trader Joes. Usually it’s a bunch of flowers but I’m a sucker for orchids. It was on the verge of blooming at purchase. Then the stem dried and died. I still watered it weekly, for the most part. Then this Spring I saw a bud peek out. It grew into a branch, on which 3 viciously elegant blooms manifested. What a lesson in life and growth. 
8. Oxtails are my favorite dish. Well, it’s really my mom’s oxtails- it’s a spiritual experience. Watching my mom cook them is an art form, watching her cook anything really. Perched on a bench in my kitchen, listening to her tell stories, watching her make magic in pots the size of small children. There is no other word fitting, magic makes sense. Listening to stories from her youth makes her more human. This is where we connect, where we are both flawed but she’s still making magic. 
9. Squirrels foraging for food, scaling the slimmest of branches then hearing the pounding of their tiny feet bolting across the roof. 
10. Listening to your brother ask for relationship advice. Watching his frustration with the hard work required to maintain ongoing communication with his girlfriend. Then thinking about all the time I spent trying to communicate my love to him. The irony of it all.
11. Hearing from Don Perez, a reggae artist from the 90s (his album- El Original). We would talk about life during lunch. I’d grin from ear to ear hearing his stories of making music with classic reggae artists or about the times he would “trash out” for this old State job. On days when he wasn’t doing odd jobs, I’d watch him draw and sell his paintings in Mill Hill Park. He is a beautiful reminder of the cycles of life.
12. Watching my grandmother do the leg thing, instead of a handshake. You know, the thing that doctors do to avoid touching people. She’s 80, it’s hilarious.
13. Nostalgia. Taking myself back to Zanzibar. Paje Beach. Sitting in low tide. Water lapping below my hips. Sun toasting every inch of my exposed body. Watching people kite surf. For hours. 
14. Eucalyptus, spearmint and brown sugar body scrub. Background music – Rain playlist. Hot, steam filled shower. Topped off by lavender body cream. You’re welcome!
15. A good banana. It’s a yellow, obviously 🙂 but without hints of green, and a few freckles on at least 3 of the 6. The first bite is soft, not a hint of “carbine” – as my mom would say. It’s filling, like a meal almost. Not grainy, not baby food soft. Just right. The top peels back without issue, without fight. Not many strings because they’ve either attached to the peel or are one with the fruit. It’s fragrant, almost pungent. Each morsel is as chompy as the next. Taste buds dancing the entire time. And yes, I do a small jig every time I have a great banana- because why not.
16. Sharpening my priorities. Letting go of fluff. Getting rid of excess. Reorganizing (physical, spiritual, mental) existing plans and coming to a new equilibrium and resolve about what’s still important at the core. Letting go of things and habits deemed important by “they”, not me.
17. Colors. They make everything better. I resolve to not buy another piece of black clothing. The intension is not to be seen but to reflect the beauty and inspiration all around me every chance I get.
18. Sugar Calling, the Podcast. The interviewees comfort and inspire me.
19. Nina, Toni, Audre, Cheryl, Brene…Women writers who inspire me to bear witness to this time.
20. Watching plants grow. Each new bud similar to the last, but never before seen. Pushing through soil without regard for world happenings.  Growing without worry, without wondering if there’s enough. Stretching in whichever direction the sun shines in. Roots expanding and vines winding as far as space allows.
21. My brother making me breakfast. I imagine somethings array, but I’m living in the moment. 
22. The irony of my 2020 Mantra (Let it Go) and all the current opportunities to practice. Another reminder that the universe gives you exactly the experience you need. Purest fact.
23. Afrogados, sometimes sans coffee. Freshly brewed coffee poured over pineapple coconut Haiggen Daz ice-cream. Topped with 2 chessmen cookies. And if you’re about that life – add a taste of Hennessy. Talk about a night cap 🙂 Again, you’re welcome!
24. Sundays. Sabbath. It signals rest. Inherently peaceful. Sundays aren’t pre-Monday’s, they’re Sunday – nothing more nothing less. Wash day for hair, naps, multi-course dinners, family time, self reflection and great desserts.
25. Creativity. Writing. Creating something that didn’t exist before. Documenting this time and space. This moment. Never before seen. Not to be seen again. Bearing witness to the now. Without conclusion or judgement. Just as it is. 
26. Practicing amateur Black Planet html coding skills on Microsoft Teams. I’m not (yet) creating banners with moving pictures and R&B music but labeling hyperlinks make me chuckle.
27. Rich reads. Some reads are light, they pass as quickly as feathers escaping ripped pillows. Others are rich, deep, washes over you completely. Causes you to shed tears for yourself, well characters really, but it gets hard to decipher. Getting lost in apartments, rides, job routines, sexual escapades, parental judgement, life itself; it’s all too familiar. It’s heavy, the kind of load you’re happy to carry. It’s deep, a self- reflection. A mirror really. It doesn’t give advice, at least not explicitly. It bears witness to what is. 
28. The possibilities to come from this disruption. I’m excited about all the learning, stillness, loving, business ventures, connection that will come from this time. I’m most excited about the opportunities to serve others, whether in big or small ways. 
29. The gift of awareness.
30. Small wins. Insignificant things. When you pay close attention, these are at the core of what truly matters.  

This divine time out – the most accurate description I’ve heard someone use to describe the current time – has been simultaneously complex and very simple. It’s as though, being intentional about grounding oneself has become a necessity instead of something we just need to be mindful of. I’m grateful for this time. It’s an opportunity to be still, see things in slow motion, reassess perception of the connectedness of everything; work, love, learning, spirituality, life, all of it. In stillness you see things just as they are, without judgement, neither good or bad. And as you become more present in the moment, things that bring you joy and delight are more apparent. You co-exist and connect more intensely because you’ve brought 100% of yourself into the now; instead of spending half your energy focused on the past or thinking about the future.

Until next time, walk gud.